The REAL Emily Oster Has Entered the Chat!
I asked everyone's favorite economist (lol) to put data aside and share her best mom-to-mom advice, PLUS: Toy Fair recap!
👏 EMILY 👏 OSTER 👏 HAS 👏 ENTERED 👏 THE 👏 CHAT! 👏
I don’t think I’ve ever been so stoked (or nervous, TBH) to interview a fellow mom. But meet me where I am: I’ve been following Emily Oster’s every word since early 2020, when my then-pregnant friend Rachel passed along her copy of Emily’s Expecting Better to a then-pregnant me. The tomb all but usurped What to Expect as a must-read maternity manual thanks to its evidence-based investigations into conventional pregnancy wisdom as old as time. No longer do we look twice at pregnant women sipping wine or eating sushi; we now know that some risks have been overstated, and we’re better equipped than ever to trust pregnant women to weigh the pros and cons for themselves, all according to the best research out there. This, I must note, is a particularly big deal to me, a former health and fitness editor who can appreciate the nuance (and patience! And attention to detail!) required to sift through studies upon studies upon studies and try to make sense of it all for the public.
Back to Emily, the Brown University economics professor who didn’t just write one book, but four: She’s also birthed two children—now ages 14 and 8—which qualifies her as an expert without any of the other stuff, IMHO.
The always-relevant, evidence-based insights Emily doles out via ParentData come up at least once a day in one of my many moms group chats. And yet? After the parents I know read every word Emily writes, they often end up asking one another what to do.
In part because I secretly think that every parent I follow is destined to be my new best mom friend, I wanted to know what would happen if Emily-the-mom put data aside and just…gave her best advice, from one mom to another. So I asked the author once nicknamed a “motherhood messiah” (by Caro Chambers) to do just that on a recent phone call.
My favorite pearl of wisdom came from a question about how to handle the panic headlines that plague us all. I mean, who doesn’t spend more time than they should fretting about fluoride, plastics, heavy metals, processed foods, and conventionally-grown produce?!
“Take the time to read about it and decide how to interact with it so that the next time you’re bombarded with a new version of the same fear, you can tell yourself, ‘I’ve already thought about this and made a decision about what to do,’” Emily told me. “Then, get off social media; it’s bombarding you with new versions of the same fear. You need to turn the panic button off.”
Go ahead and nod profusely, then read on for more snippets from our Q&A and, like, 72 more reasons to fan-girl out over this woman.
More Than Mom: What *experience*-based advice would you share with parents who…
…have failed to procure a Pinterest-perfect Montessori playroom?
Emily: “Part of parenting is letting go a little bit and recognizing that maybe you’re doing something better for your kids if you let them play in a space that looks worse. When we make our playrooms look perfect, they’re nice for Instagram but not-so-nice for our kids. What kids like is a playroom where they have the opportunity to explore with their hands and get to do things. In the craft room in our basement, you’d find a bunch of partially-completed KiwiCo. projects, random paints, fabrics, and markers that let the kids explore and build and create on their own.” [Emily is an Expert Advisor for KiwiCo.]
“Part of parenting is letting go a little bit.”
-Emily Oster
…can’t keep up with developmentally-appropriate, educational toys?
“The phrase ‘educational toy’ is completely unregulated, but everything is educational: Your kid is learning all the time; any time they are challenged to do something on their own, any time a toy lets them experiment and fail and try again by themselves, they’re getting some problem-solving education.
“The main thing to look for is a toy that is matched to your kid’s developmental age—you want to make sure they have toys that they can play with by themselves. The goal should always be to push your kid a little bit, but not so much that they need your help—so no electronic sets that require welding for one-year-olds.”
…worry about excessive screen time for kids?
“Every parent on the planet in 2025 is struggling with how much screen time to give their kids! You’re not a bad parent if you let your kid watch TV. Try not to think of screen time as good or bad, which gives it emotional valence. It’s simply one activity that your kids do. Do you want them to be on screens nine hours a day? No. Setting boundaries enables them to use screens and do other activities.”
…feel guilty about sending kids to aftercare/ full-time daycare?
“You’ve already thought about this and chosen the childcare situation that works for your family. Implement it the best way you can by focusing on your kids when you do have time with them; spending quality time together is more important than spending a greater quantity of time together.”
…worry about taking a postpartum career break?
“Being a stay-at-home parent is a very good explanation for a break in your resume. Taking time off to spend with your kids doesn’t mean you can’t return to a job at a high level. If that’s ultimately what you want, all you can do is try.”
…have a kid starting kindergarten?
“Try not to worry if your kid doesn’t read on the first day of kindergarten. Kindergarten is a time to learn to play and to interact with other kids in a structured group setting. The idea that your kid is behind on day one is totally wrong and unrealistic and not helpful at all.”
…secretly want to start a side hustle?
“Recognize there are only 24 hours in the day: Getting to do the thing you love can be incredibly rewarding, but when you make time to do that thing, it has to come from somewhere else. You might not be the parent with the nicely-decorated cupcakes—and that’s cool if you can own it and live with it.”
“You might not be the parent with the nicely-decorated cupcakes—and that’s cool if you can own it and live with it.”
-Emily Oster
…struggle to follow widely-distributed parenting advice?
“There are definitely things I know I should be doing differently, but find hard to implement. Like, I know that consistency is the most important part of discipline. But when my youngest child wants me to come into his room after bedtime for another hug, I find it hard to say no. Luckily, it’s rare that parenting research says, ‘this is for sure the right thing to do.’”
So there you have it: Excellent advice from Emily-the-mom—without a single citation or formal initiation into any of my moms group chats. (EMILY! COME TO BOOK CLUB!!!)
If you follow me on Instagram you know that I had the goddamn time of my life for like, the first 45 minutes of Toy Fair, the largest toy trade show convention in the Northern Hemisphere (give or take). Despite no confirmed writing assignment—I honestly didn’t shop it around too hard since gift guide-writing season is always coming for me!—I was…probably the most excited human with a press pass to grace the many, many, M-A-N-Y miles of toy vendors spread throughout New York City’s Javits Center. Around minute 46, though, I became so overstimulated that I barely made it to the appointment-only Mattel wing. (THE HORROR.) So it is with just a little bit of trauma that I recount some of the most fun stuff I saw there:
Did you know I have some extremely antisocial tendencies?! Link right here if you can related/ are equally interested in taking this baggage home for your kiddos (or yourself).
If I had even one square foot of room to spare it would go to this beautiful Coco Village dollhouse. (It costs $250, so here’s another one on Amazon that I would have no problem living in!)
I cannot overstate how satisfying it was to play with the little nuggets pictured above. The brand, which I originally mistagged because I’m the worst, is Wigglitz; they gifted me an octopus for Shay (10/10) and a unicorn for Emma (A++); both are quite beloved and obviously mom-approved since they take up so little space.
The only thing more ridiculous than this faux horse casually striding down the aisle of an otherwise ~professional~ conference is the fact that my friend Michelle told me she’s seen this toy in the actual home of someone who is not a Kardashian. I know bedtime can feel like a rodeo, the wild wild West, etc. etc., but I ask: CAN. YOU. EVEN?! I will not link it, I will not do that.
My kids would legit love this floor-cleaning ride-on rover…but then again, they also love our actual cordless vacuum cleaner, which adjusts to their height (and has made me a better mom since I no longer freak out when a Cheerio hits the floor).
Ever since I bought my kids Paw Patrol toothpaste, I’ve been feeling a little grossed out by their obsession with the characters who I swore I’d never let them play with/wear/accidentally consume when they forget to spit after brushing. This merch based on books feels like slightly safer territory. I’d take two Pete the Cats, tyvm!
I spent like, 20 minutes earnestly interviewing this Rubik’s Cube prodigy who not only solves these classic puzzles while conversing like it’s NBD, but developed a program that plans Rubik’s Cube installations like the one you see above for settings like these. Very modest dude! With lots of time on his hands! During a last-minute freakout the day before Shay turned five, I learned he does birthday parties ($$$!). Someone besides me should book him to make a kid’s face/day, you’re welcome.
Okay that emotional baggage purchase is everything. NEED! PS I have loved Dr Oster for a longggg time! (She was a professor at Uchicago while my husband was getting his PhD there.) Awesome interview.