Ok, Ok, Some Post-Mother’s Day Feels

No breakfast in bed, no notes, PLUS: Two birthday party season hacks.

I said I wouldn’t post a Mother’s Day-pegged piece, but here we are in full reflection mode after a weekend of single-parenting. My expectations for this Mother’s Day weekend were lower than low for three reasons:

1. I gave David a free pass to flee town for the weekend for a trip with his dad. Bye boi! (Yes, I get a day off next weekend. No, I’m not mad—really!)

2. My oldest, who has been having a hard time at school, has been processing his Big Feelings via violent tantrums daily, and I’ve become weathered to expect complete carnage as a matter of habit.

3. My youngest, who is a pretty pretty princess that I would fully eat with a fork and knife (I love this age!) has been dropping her final nap and losing her shit in tandem with her brother, also daily.

4. I had like, no weekend plans besides a brunch reservation I’d almost definitely cancel because immediately after booking it I remembered that dining out with my kids isn’t just chaotic, it’s torturous...kinda like a weekend with two kids and no reason to leave the house. (Just me?! 🫠)

Things turned around when I gave in to paying an arm, a leg, and another arm and leg to enroll Emma in her ballet school’s (optional) recital, got a last minute invitation to a chill park birthday party, and decided to host a Mother’s Day brunch instead dragging my kids to a restaurant.

Among my epiphanies:

I’m happier celebrating others than being celebrated.

Like birthdays, Mother’s Day brings about expectations that are just too high, with disappointment too inevitable (as per every Mother’s Day meme and SNL spot, ever). I’m so lucky to have my mom close-ish by and worth every effort to celebrate. And celebrating my baby lady taking center stage by storm at her first dance recital? There’s no amount of self-care or pampering that could possibly compare.

The best gift is grace.

Did I park my kiddos on the couch for an hour of TV Sunday morning so I could like, cut cantaloupe and make a pretty brunch spread that brought me joy? Sure did. While this might have made me feel guilty on another day, I gave myself a teensy weensy break because Mother’s Day, damnit! And it all worked out for the best.

When you expect nothing from your kids, they sometimes (maybe) surprise you.

Without my husband coaching from the rafters, I knew Mother’s Day would be like any other day, more or less. So instead of hitting my kids over the head with the fact that this was MY DAY!!, I just...tried to be the best mom ever. I let them linger too long in my bed (even after waking me up at the crack of dawn without breakfast in bed—the nerve!), painted their nails at breakfast, and let Emma destroy her cutie pie ~fancy~ dress with chalk because #childhood. And at the end of the day, I’d yelled at them zero times (ok one time), Shay cleaned up his toys without my asking and got in bed on time(ish), and I just felt so happy and grateful for the time to love them up.

I fucking love my kids.

This has probably become apparent by now, but HONESTLY my kids couldn’t be cuter right now. I’m so tired and out of bandwidth lately (and honestly, always), but every time one of them hug-bombs me and sinks in like only a kid can, all is forgiven and forgotten.

So while I’ve been alone with two kids for three nights and four days now, and didn’t exactly get the time off I know I deserve, it was a perfect little weekend—no notes, not even IOUs.

I don’t know what it is about spring and every child I know being born in April, May, or June, but we have had birthday party after birthday party after birthday party and the end is not near. While I’m in no way complaining—I’m so grateful for my kids to be included, I love seeing them interact with other little people, go animalistic on frosting, etc. Plus I appreciate a packed social schedule to take the guesswork out of weekend planning. BUT. I cannot keep up with the birthday gifts: My wrapping stash is constantly dwindling.

To keep packages feeling fun and help my kids spend a second considering the guest of honor before the sugar strikes at their party, we’ve been making bead name necklaces that look so cute with a bow around the gift bag handle. It’s a simple project you can do with your kids, a forum to get them talking about their friends’ favorite colors and best attributes, and it’s one way to course-correct when gifting starts to feel an like endless and impersonal cycle of toys, books, and accessories coming in and going out the door.

Now I just have to figure out how to secretly hoard goody bag swag to make plane kits for our upcoming flights—something literally every parent should try with summer travel looming, you’re welcome.