Not (Just) a Gift Guide: Gratitude for My 9 Functioning Toes
An essay about a broken toe, GROUNDBREAKING! Plus: The best gifts I've seen all year as a parenting writer and mom of two.
I compose this Thanksgiving week peek into a cluttered mom’s brain from a supine bedded position, right foot elevated on one of those throw pillows that makes bed-making more cumbersome without adding any actual comfort or value to your life. At the moment, my right pinky toe is crying out for another round of icy relief from frozen corn after the poor thing sustained a head-on collision with the base of a Cesca chair this morning. I heard a crack, made an unsightly face and sound so scary it could have sent my children crying, “MONSTER!”, and collapsed on the floor sure as anything that something in there had broken. I effectively disowned my kids for the weekend (thank you, David!) to rest here in silence, pondering the ways I’m both unlucky and also blessed, all in the same breath.
Despite my inbox being filled to the brim with gift guide after Black Friday gift guide all week, this seasonal introspective comes at a great time: I’m pretty sure the holiday that precedes Christmas is supposed to be about gratitude? If so, I’m grateful for having a partner to do the lion’s share of keeping our kids alive right now (single moms, you are my heroes). I’m grateful that my 4-year-old son Shay more or less forgave me after I yelled at him like a maniac for accidentally kicking me in the eyeball while my toe was like, on its death bed. I’m grateful for my sister calling in the midst of preparing to host her first Thanksgiving, simply to agree that broken toes— those little bastards!—are the fucking worst. I’m grateful for my mom, who offered to come pick up my family in Brooklyn before the holiday although she really, really wishes we would get our own car already (and might just send an Uber after all, lol).
I’m also grateful to have had relatively few injuries in my lifetime—just enough to know that they can humble and ground you and remind you to appreciate the mobility you had before you were knocked off your feet. I’ve gathered that much from childbirth, after which my pain levels were completely off the charts, and all I could do was wait for organs to shrink, hips to heal, bleeding to stop, and soreness to subside. Now that I’ve ridden that rodeo twice, I’m more patient, I think, although this most recent injury is still brand spanking new, and I have yet to leave my apartment on my own let alone consider how I’ll do so with a stroller.
Or maybe it’s not patience at work here, but perspective. Can I walk comfortably at the moment? Not a single step! But having seen David survive a broken collarbone and subsequent surgery this summer, I can confidently confirm that my broken toe is not that bad. Sure, I’m terrified one of my kids will stomp on it, but this isn’t an injury that takes me away from them. (I’ve been thinking a lot about a former colleague who just got home from some two months in the hospital, where she missed so many memories with her toddler that estimating just how many makes me want to cry.)
Separately, as former fitness editor who used to spend a-l-o-t of time thinking about her body’s appearance and size, I’ve found that injuries provide a nice little reset—a reminder to appreciate what my body typically does for me and those who depend on me, too. In fighting shape, it squats a thousand times a day to pick up toy after toy; swims 40+ pool lengths without batting an eye; races a stroller down Atlantic Avenue at record speeds to hit school drop off and pick-up at precisely the right time; sprints through airports like a psychopath to make a flight before the doors close; and holds some 75-pounds of crying child when both my kids demand to be comforted at exactly the same time. Of course, that’s not the half of it.
So while I’m vaguely concerned that taking four to six weeks off my feet to heal this damn toe will almost certainly lead to all sorts of atrophy and probably, also affect the way my pants fit, I’m really…not that worried at all? Of greater concern is how I’ll pick up Shay from school, wrestle my two-year-old daughter Emma into a post-bath diaper, do my part in cleaning up after both of them, and importantly, change my sheets after I—and I kid you not—found a rogue bagel (A BAGEL) at the foot of my unmade bed this morning. I do wonder where I went so wrong that a child I made would plant a ring of dough—with raisins, it feels important to note—in my place of rest. But I’m also thinking of how nice it is to live close to an affordable indoor pool where I can take my broken toe for a dip if I really feel like I need to move. How lucky I am to have a sound mind despite a slightly broken body? How lucky that my break is just a pinky toe, not an ankle or leg or neck, and that it’s my toe, not one of my kids’? How blessed am I to have the flexibility to work from my bed, with no obligations to limp into an office come Monday?
I wish I didn’t need a broken toe to look at my life with a little gratitude, but here we are. And with that, I’ll give you all what you actually wanted* on this Monday before Thanksgiving—a gift guide!
TO BE HONEST (as I always am!) I’m still figuring out this affiliate link business which is the real reason why gift guides exist (jfyi, non media people!). But like everyone else, I’m also doing the work of figuring out what to get my kids for the holidays that will a) keep them busy b) support upcoming developmental phases c) travel well since this year, Hanukah coincides with our annual trip to visit David’s family in California d) not take up lots of room, since we have absolutely none to spare in our Brooklyn apartment or luggage e) not cost a lot, for every reason, and finally, f) bring them so much joy!!! So without further adieu: A gift guide that’s short, sweet, and not so expensive :) (Almost everything is from Amazon so I can shop with my foot up and bank on easy returns, just in case. Also, they may—or may not?—pay me pennies on the dollar if you purchase an item after clicking on a link here. So thank you!)
A bunch of gifts I’m eyeing for my 4-year-old son:
A story-player to keep our sanity during travel: Yoto Mini Player | $89.98
We have a Toniebox. It’s a big hit, although I can’t find the charger, and it’s too big to pack in a carry-on. Like every child, Shay is really into screens right now, but he’s also into stories so I think he’ll fall for this travel Yoto player, which play story cards that kids can pop in and out themselves. Worst case scenario, we regift it to Emma. Best case, it keeps us all sane as we roadtrip from San Francisco’s East Bay to Palm Dessert…and back Christmas week. Wish us luck!
Kid-friendly nail polish: Piggie Paint | $14.99 for four
Shay has been asking for this—what can I say, the kid loves crafts. He’ll probably want me to paint little flames or god help me, fire trucks on his little toes (TOO SOON! SENSITIVE SUBJECT!). I can’t promise I’ll nail it (see what I did there!), but I’m sure I’ll have fun trying. Also, I’m telling myself that this gift offsets the gendered stuff all over Emma’s list.
Magnetic tiles to take on the go: Magna-Tiles Micro Mags | $19.99 for 26-piece set
If these itty bitty blocks had cheeks, I would pinch them! So teeny tiny and cute and every bit as engaging as the full-sized set that stays at home. (If you don’t have magnetic tiles—any brand works—get them! My kids spend more time playing with their full-sized set than any other toy we’ve ever gotten. And I admit, they are super fun to clean up—IYKYK.)
A glow-in-the-dark fort building set: Tiny Land Glow Fort Building Kit | $43.99
Shay finds glow-in-the-dark stuff fascinating. And he loves a building challenge. This set comes in a backpack and could be a fun one to take on our road trip for hotel rooms, and then maybe leave with his grandparents in California to play with the next time we’re back.
A bunch of gifts I’m eyeing for my 2-year-old daughter:
Sparkly headbands: Fishdown Headbands | $11.99 for 5 pack
Emma has recently gotten into wearing Minnie ears around our apartment, so this is the natural accessory progression for my curly-haired bangs girl. Plus if they’re big enough, maybe I’ll borrow them? (Love a headband, even though I’m pretty sure they are over for adults?!)
The worst game for princess-industrial complex, with my sincere apologies: Pretty Pretty Princess | $19.49
I promised I wouldn’t do the princess thing to my daughter, but this was always my personal favorite game. So we’re doing it! I don’t think she’ll eat the earrings, and she can leverage them in negotiations with Shay since he’ll definitely love this game, too.
Rain protection: MRTLLOA Kids Clear Bubble Umbrella | $19.54
Shay has an umbrella, so naturally Emma wants one—a red one, although she sometimes confuses red and purple (and purple and pink) so I may just get a clear one she can see through, with hearts or rainbows or something and hope for the best. I love this age where practical stuff can feel like such a special treat.
A heart-shaped sequined purse: ZGMYC Reversible Sequins Crossbody Purse | $10 for two
I actually bought this already for Emma’s birthday but it arrived too late. So out it will come for Hanukah. An upgrade from her current purse, a Target shopping bag she’s been stuffing with books and toys, it features sequence for some sensory input, and a zipper that kinda sorta ticks the busy-board box. Plus, I like it, so I won’t mind seeing it on her forever and always if she takes to it. (Can you tell I’ve been burned before?!)
Interlocking blocks (yes, more blocks!): Bristle Blocks | $12.95 for 54 pieces
We have wooden blocks, Magna-Tiles, foam blocks, Duplos, Legos, Lincoln Logs, and so many other building sets that we almost exclusively acquired as gifts or for free off one of many generous Brooklyn stoops. Without a doubt, I already spend too much time picking these up. But Emma gravitates toward Bristle Blocks at playdates and play spaces and libraries and just seems to love them so much. Doesn’t she deserve something that’s all her own?! (Did I mention I’m a second/ middle child who projects just a little?!) Note to self: I’ll rotate these sets in the New Year so they don’t all come at out once.
A bunch of stuff you should *definitely* get for your kids!
Here is an edited collection of some of the best toys I’ve encountered this year—and I’ve had a lot of exposure considering I recently wrote a bunch of gift guides for The Bump (and also one for Romper). All have already been Shay- and Emma-approved, and I’ve not seen them on every single gift guide yet, so hopefully they spark some new ideas!
A very cute first board game where all players work together and everyone wins: Race to the Treasure! | $18.95
Letter and number identification make this somewhat of a learning game, but it also teaches teamwork, communication, and spatial awareness—perfect for 3 or 4 year-olds, IMO. The gist: Race ogres using path cards that strategically build upon one another to create a direct route to a pot of gold. It’s less boring than Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders put together, don’t @ me.
A very fulfilling light-up building experience that’s compatible with Duplos: Light Stax Classic Light up Building Bricks | $44.99
These wired blocks stack on top of a battery-powered base that sends light through pieces as you connect them, circuit-style. It’s really fun to see kids figure the whole thing out and reason their way around incorporating other blocks that don’t light up. Just trust me here, these are great for every age.
A mess-free craft that kids focus on forever: Foil Art | $11.99
This craft achieved savior status on a flight when Shay became so enthralled with it that both David and I got to watch entire movies while Emma slept. Simply a bunch of two-sided foam stickers with foil paper that you press on the sticky part to transfer color and sparkle, it’s a very time-consuming craft that’s really worth every dollar for precisely that reason. If your kid can peel off a sticker, they can take on Foil Art fairly independently—just ignore the age recs on the box, as I always do :)
IRL Tetris: Kanoodle | $13.99
I encountered this portable game at a media holiday toy fair and almost stole the sample, so it’s a good thing they sent us home with one. Shay and I are both obsessed with this game and can play it together for hours—each level starts with a different collection of oddly-shaped pieces already on the board, and the challenge is to position all of the remaining pieces so every one fits in perfectly. It sounds advanced, and is technically designed for 7 year olds, but you will be shocked by what your 4- or 5-year-old kid is capable of figuring out.
Figurines that contain itty-bitty story books: Booksy Monster Tales | $34.99 for collection of six
Shay acquired one of these toys at the aforementioned toy event, and it’s wonderful through and through! Ours is a monster named Krunch. When you disconnect his top and bottom, you find a storybook inside about a time he got so excited to see the ice cream truck that he accidentally ordered every single last scoop of ice cream, leaving all of his monster friends SOL. He rights his wrong by distributing scoops to his monster friends, to the delight and appreciation of all! I’m a sucker for stories with morals—sharing: good!—and I like that it rhymes. Plus, both my kids like assembling and disassembling the monster itself, which is comprised of two pieces (and a very compelling lock-in plastic base, if you buy these as singles).
A Polly Pocket-sized assortment of vehicles: Driven by Battat Pocket Fleet | $14.99 for pack of 20(!)
We own a truly despicable number of vehicles (again, largely acquired by gift or curb). These petite trucks are by far my absolute favorite! The size of like, half my thumb, they fit literally anywhere, and most have a simple but unique moving feature (i.e., a helicopter blade that turns, or a fire engine ladder that lifts, a dump truck that dumps, etc.). I’ve gotten packs of these to dole out one at a time over the course of a flight or restaurant meal, used them as bribes for good behavior (judge away!), and had a very fun time playing with them after I realized expired lasagna sheets make just the right sized two-lane roads. I really can’t believe the value here. They are the best, truly the only trucks your family ever needs. (Good luck explaining that to your kid!).
The most ridiculously-cute sweatshirt: All Smalls Belt Bag Sweatshirt | $36
I found ours for $2 at the PS29 rummage sale and did not miss a beat in buying it immediately. It’s more or less Emma’s size and is so freaking adorable on her—it gives “mini fashion girlie” vibes that are the welcome antithesis of everything else she wants to wear these days, like Elmo pants…Elmo shirt… etc. She loves the idea of carrying Elmo/ Zoe/ Cookie around in her pack all day, so it’s a beige win-win for all.
One last item on my wish list
The most humungous magnetic tiles: Superspace The Big Set | $399 (yes you read that right)
By now you can probably tell that my family loves magnetic toys and building, so this very big but still sort of analogue option is the gift that dreams are made of. A set of XXL modular magnetic panels that kids can use to make forts, faux shops, and tunnels, then fold flat, it costs almost $400, which is why I’ve filed it under wish list. To be clear, I would never spend $400 on a toy for my kids (who do you think I am?!). If you splurge, LMK and I will hand-deliver both my children for a very, very long playdate.
Happy(-ish) holiday shopping!
*I know I promised reported service pieces, and they’re capital-U Underway! Stay tuned for sleep training 2.0, an exclusive interview with Dr. Becky (YES THAT DR. BECKY!), and some very interesting insights on Trader Joe’s skincare products from one of my favorite Instagram dermatologists! So yes, now is the time to forward More Than Mom to everyone you know. I’ll wait!